I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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