Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
