Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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