so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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