if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
