i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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