Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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