Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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