Non-Jews are for practice
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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