I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
