The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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