so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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