There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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