White coat. Heels.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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