Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.