you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.