it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.