That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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