Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
