we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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