I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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