Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
