So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
