i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
