I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize