He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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