1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
