Non-Jews are for practice
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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