Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize