A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
