when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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