how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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