he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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