He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
