This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
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