He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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