its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
