can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
