mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
