He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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