im holly from the hills drunk
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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