Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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