you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
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It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
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I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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