you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
