im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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