whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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