our cab driver is having phone sex.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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