Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
