How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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