You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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