This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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