So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
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It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
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Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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