Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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