I love black thongs
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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