is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
