Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
