But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
