Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
