His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
